These
words awakened me from a deep sleep about 24 years ago. I remember
thinking, am I still dreaming?! Am I imagining this?! But, as I sat up
in bed, fully awake, I heard these words play over and over to a song
in my head. It was the first time that I had ever experienced this in
my lifetime. I was 33 years old. I asked a musician friend to help me
to write sheet music to the simple tune and still have it somewhere in
my stash of collective items.
I didn't know what it meant at the time. I saw the symbolism of the refrain:
When I found You (Jesus)
I found the Sunshine (Sonshine)
When I found You (Jesus)
I found the Rain (Reign)
When I found You (Jesus)
I found the Thunder in Your Name (Power of the name Jesus)
Well,
that happened to me around Easter that year. It stayed with me all
year. I would hum the tune...I would sing it not knowing that I was. It
played over and over in my head as the song continued to develop. I
wondered why the Lord would give such a lovely song to such a musically
illiterate fool, like me. I could sing....but I cannot read or write
music to this day. I tried to take lessons, but always end up
memorizing the tune and then playing by ear. My second grade music
teacher figured this out towards the end of the year. Our entire second
grade class took piano lessons once a week at school. I was always one
of the last ones to approach the piano. Well, after sitting there
listening to the tune over and over again as each child played and as he
corrected them, apparently, I had it memorized by the time that I sat
down at the piano and just played it by ear. He started making me one
of the first to play and I floundered. He finally relented to allow me
to play by ear because he considered it a gift. Unfortunately, I grew
up poor and my family couldn't afford music lessons for me....so here I
am still musically illiterate. I tried taking lessons as an adult and
still played by ear. I just can't help it. So, I wondered all year
long during my 33rd year on earth, why would God give me a song that I
can't write and publish. Well, I found out in the month of October.
One
morning, I woke up and realized that my hand had fallen asleep because
of the way that I was laying in bed on my stomach. I noticed something
in my breast that I had never noticed before...a lump. I remember
swallowing hard. Is it my imagination? I felt again as I regained
feeling in my hand. It was definitely there. I called my girlfriend.
Her uncle was a doctor. He said to meet him in his office that same
day...a Sunday! I didn't want to go. I wanted to ignore it. My
girlfriend pushed me to go because her mother had lost both of her
breasts two years earlier to cancer. I went and was told that I needed
to go to a friend of his who specialized in these things. I went there
the next day. He sent me for a mammogram. He said that it was probably
just a few benign cysts...but that they wanted to be sure. I felt a
sense of relief. I went to the hospital the next day for the
mammogram. She did it the first time....inconclusive. We need to do it
again, she said...inconclusive. I was now getting nervous. She came
back again and said that they wanted a third one. Apparently, the two
lumps that the doctor had pointed out looked benign...but they had found
a tiny third growth...a black mass. It was apparently hidden. Back
then, they didn't have the machinery like they do today. I was then
told that they wanted a needle biopsy. I remember seeing the long
needle and feeling the pressure as I looked away in tears of fear. They
then told me that I would have to report back to doctor number two.
I
reported back the next day with my mother in tow. I needed her
support. She sat in the outer office when doctor number two told me
that it would take a while for the results of the biopsy to come back,
but in the meantime, he wanted to schedule surgery to remove the two
larger (most likely benign tumors) and also the mass. If I remember
correctly, it took 3 weeks of waiting before they did the surgery.
On
the night before surgery, my best friend's mother brought me Holy Oil
and told me to continue spreading it on my breasts throughout the
night. I did. She also held a pray vigil in her home on my behalf.
Well, I went to the hospital the next morning and had the surgery. I
remember coming out to the recovery room and hearing the nurse tell me
that there was no cancer. They found two benign tumors and removed
those...but there was no mass at all....Praise The LORD! Of course I
didn't say any of that at that time...I could barely keep my eyes open.
Now
move ahead 4 years. I had relocated to Florida. My girlfriend
(daughter of my doctor) had just sent me a huge package in the mail. It
was all of my medical records. She wanted me to have it so that I
could give it to my new doctor. I got nosy to see what my doctor had
written about me. I remember a Seinfeld episode where the nurse was
making notes that Elaine wanted to see...and they would never allow her
to see and it made her paranoid. So, here I had these records...what
would they reflect? Nothing much really.....until I ran across my
cancer encounter. From doctor number two: Patient came to me today at
the young age of 33. I go the results of the needle biopsy and
refrained from telling her the results: (long name of a disease) type
of radical cancer that typically is found in women who are post
menopausal. Typically these post menopausal patients die withing 6
months of onset. I hesitate on telling this patient the results as she
is scheduled for surgery to have it removed and appears to be in a state
of depression. I want her to go in feeling as positive as possible.
If the surgery concurs my suspicions, I will tell her afterwards as we
set up chemo therapy. She is young and strong and will hopefully be
able to beat this disease.
I
sat there reading this report, stunned. He had never told me because
they had not found any cancer. I had always been thankful that God had
taken care of me. But, there was something solid...Thomas touch the
hole in My Hand...believable as I sat there reading that medical
report. Tears streamed from my face as I realized that I had had a
radical cancer that God had healed overnight.
But,
I digressed as I told my tale.....during that whole ordeal, I heard
that song over and over in my head. God is Strong...He is a Healer.
Jesus is the Son of God, He Reigns through the Power of His Name! So,
if any of you reading this need a song of hope.....I have shared it. It
is not anything fancy. It is not accompanied. It is just me singing
the tune. I hope that it can bless you as much as it blessed me! Amen!
